All Your Burning Questions That Might Be Keeping You From Starting Therapy Answered Here!

So many of things we encounter in our life have been experienced previously by someone we know. We’ve heard about it, we’ve talked openly about it, or we've seen it in action; except for therapy. What actually happens behind those closed doors? One of the biggest obstacles to starting therapy is the fear of the unknown (I can already hear your inner critic saying, “You’re going to do it wrong, you’re not going to be a good patient” and your anxious part saying, “face the unknown with no plan? Um no thank you”) So let’s get some facts straight and some of the unknowns out of the way! Here are some of the most common questions the providers in my practice and I have been asked. 

Am I right for therapy? I don’t know if I’m bad enough. 

Are you human? Do you have emotions? Do you feel like you need some help with those emotions? Then Welcome! You just made 'Team Therapy' and we’re happy to have you on our side! Sometimes there can be an antiquated belief that you have to be “crazy” or so depressed you are unable to leave your bed to need therapy. That’s just not true. So many people use therapy for so many reasons. And if you’ve seen a therapist in the past who told you that you didn’t need therapy, I’m sorry. And I welcome you here. 

Am I supposed to do anything to prepare/do anything while I'm in there?  

Nope! Sometimes I suggest taking notes throughout the week in a notes app or in a journal just so you can keep track of how you were feeling throughout the week, or important things you might want to bring up or discuss, but nothing is required. Not even homework we might assign you is required to be finished and brought back in. It's for you to do or not based on how you're feeling and what you're open to trying (although I do encourage you to give it a shot 😉). When you’re in this office all you are required to do is try to be open. Open to exploring. Open to curiosity. Open to feedback. Open to change. That's it. 

Do I annoy you? Am I a burden?  

Never! I can safely speak for all of us at TAC Therapy, we genuinely enjoy listening to you. It doesn't matter if you talk about the same trauma or the same event or the same topic week after week. It doesn’t annoy us and it doesn't feel like a burden (even the really hard stuff). We want to take that load off of you. We want to be your safe space to unload all of that. If not here, then where?     

Are you just doing it for the paycheck? 

If I could do this job for free I would. But the fact is it's my chosen profession and I have to make a living doing it. But I hope you never let the price of a session or a cancellation fee change your impression of how much I want to be here with you. And in fact, I think there's a benefit for you paying for this service. You're getting the opportunity to invest in yourself (maybe for the first time ever, or the first time in a long time) and that means something! 

What if I don't know what to say? What if I don't have anything to talk about today? (Runner up: What if I bore you?) 

Coming in with “nothing to talk about today” happens all the time and people are usually surprised to find that in those sessions where you feel like you have very little to talk about, something organic happens where you end up discussing a topic that you hadn't really thought you needed to talk about. OR we don't talk about much at all and that's still okay! Having an hour (or less if you’d like) to reflect, to breathe, to relax, to feel supported, to talk out what's coming up next in your week is still nice. You don't always have someone else to hold that space with. As for feeling bored with these sessions, whether it's a packed session where we really dive into deep meaningful topics or a quieter session, where you just have the space for some peace and connection; I'm here for it all. It doesn't bore me one bit. 

Am I allowed to talk about anything? Is it okay to talk about sex? 

Absolutely! If it’s therapeutically relevant, then we welcome it in our sessions. You’d be hard pressed to find something we haven’t heard so no shame or embarrassment necessary. Sex is a natural part of human nature and of our day-to-day living. So, if you’re having it, not having it, experiencing changes in it, and anything in between…lets talk about it. And if we get into territory of any kind that feels outside our expertise, we will suggest someone who may be better trained in this particular area of need! 

Won't it be weird that you know everything about me and I know nothing about you? 

First, you will not know "nothing" about me. It's correct that you will not know the details of our personal life, but you will know us. You will know our hearts. You will know our humor. You will begin to hear our voices when you make certain choices or do certain things outside of sessions. You will probably know about our pets 😉 But this time is about YOU, not about us. Every therapist has their own boundaries with self disclosure, but I'm pretty open about basic questions if you want to ask- as long as they don't get in the way of what really matters! (See blog post on when therapeutic relatability stops being helpful).

What if I feel awkward just sitting and staring at you? 

While I hope we can learn to tolerate this feeling of discomfort as we go; to start with, don’t sit and stare at me! Bring your crochet project, bring a fidget, ask me for some play-do. We do our best to read your cues and will not make uninterrupted eye contact with you if it seems like it’s overwhelming haha.